Self-discovery and choosing the right path for YOU


You will quickly learn that many people think they know who you are. In fact, before you have the chance to speak or present yourself, people will pigeon-hole you into a certain category or place. They are quick to define, judge and even dismiss you. But, who’s to say they know what they’re talking about, anyway?

YOU HAVE… at some point or other, I’m sure!

You see, like most living beings, we rely on reinforcement to either motivate us to stay or to leave, keep at it or quit. We are creatures of habit.

Change is nice and speaking of it and all the glorious possibilities is grand.

What stops us then?

FEAR! Oftentimes, we are plagued with the fear of failure and although we are in constant agony at our current placement-it is still familiar.


The devil you know is better than the one you don’t [know].

We resist change so much that we wade in the same water, long after the tide turns, the temperature drops and the water gets murky. We stay stuck in toxic relationships, jobs and situations long after we should have left. We begin to think that living unhappily is the norm.

Today’s topic is about Self-Discovery and choosing the right path for YOU (and no one else).




We stay where we are because it’s comfortable. No matter how much we hate it, we become comforted by the familiarity of it all. We create comfort zones and don’t dare exit them out of our fear of the unknown. We procrastinate and put off for a later time anything that has the potential to place us out of the comfort zone and into new territory.

Your comfort zone is dangerous. In fact, it can be DEADLY. Staying within it can and will cause your creativity and ambition to rot away. You are so much stronger than you realize.

Perhaps the reason we procrastinate is because on the most basic level, we fear we are not doing a good enough job. We push things into the safety of later.

Today I’d like us to view our comfort zone as a cage.

There is a condition referred to as “Cage-bound behavior” among some birds. As the title suggests, it has to do with the fear exhibited by caged birds to never fly out of their cage. The remarkable thing about this is that these birds will chose their barred cell over freedom time and time again.

Many of us are like those birds.

Today I challenge you to get out of your comfort zone. Think about something you would like to do but have put off for later (i.e. Go hiking, take a dance class, write, sing, etc) and start making the steps NOW.


Within you lies enormous talent, ability and strength. You do not know the immensity of all that you possess (not yet, at least). But just because you have the skill and talent, you better WORK! (Rupaul’s Supermodel song tone)

In the end, making the changes and being successful comes down to one simple word.


You have to fight hard at what you want. Others may not support your goals but you must remember this is YOUR dream not theirs. You have to wake up with purpose and know that every step you take is in propelling you forward. FALL FORWARD. In other words, use your failures as motivation and as stepping stones toward your goals and dreams.

Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” ~Lao Tzu

Stop living your life in comparison to anyone else. Be in competition with yourself and no one else. The other day, I was listening to Iyanla Vanzant, famous life coach, as she counseled listeners on her show. A young woman complained about not having the motivation to lose the additional weight and she felt as though she hit a  plateau in her weight loss. Iyanla’s response was simple. It is not important to you, so therefore you’re not doing it.

You see, many times we do tasks out of obligation. We do things because we should or it is expected of us. The same can be said for weight loss. Everyone would like to look like a movie star but dig beneath the reasons why and you will quickly see that many of the reasons have to do with being seen as beautiful in the eyes of others.

No one can define your beauty, intelligence or talent. NO ONE except YOU. YOU are an equisite and rare find. You are unlike anyone else. Embrace all that makes you different and who you are. Love your body NOW, before the diet and journey.

You are perfect. If you truly want to lose weight because it is important to you, then you will. Any change, whether it be weight loss, change of careers or relationships requires work and sacrifice. At the end of the day, you will be motivated by the reasons that resonate with your inner being.

It all comes down to figuring out who you are and what matters to YOU. Part of it is accepting that your self-discovery may not resonate with everyone else. Please remember what I am about to say. In fact, you may start to say this to yourself when confronted with criticism or negativity in pursuing your life’s goal. Are you ready?

You are only responsible for your happiness and no one elses’!!!!!!

Discovering who you are and pursuing the path that fits your wants requires you to be accept the anger, disappointment or criticism of others. Perhaps your parents want you to be a Veterinarian but you would rather be an Artist. They will be furious to know you’re not following their wishes and may threathen to not pay your tuition or cut you from their will. At the end of the day, we have many choices we must make. Life is sort of like a scale. You have to pick the side that weighs the most. Ideally, if you like the profession, you could do both until you’re established enough to pursue your actual goal full time. However, sometimes life doesn’t allow us the luxury of having our cake and eating it too. In other words, sometimes we have to pick a path. Both choices will have their share of good and bad. The right choice is the one you think you won’t regret one day when you’re laying in your death bed thinking of all the choices you’ve made and the opportunities taken and not taken. I think Robert Frost said it best in his famous poem, “The Road not taken.”

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

 Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

There’s a famous saying that says one day we will be laying in our death bed and depending on the choices we have or have not made, we might have our dreams standing by us with looking at us in anger because we never fulfilled them and we were the only ones that could. The graveyard is said to be the richest land because within it lies books never published, songs never written or sung, buildings and inventions never built.

Explore all the talent you possess and go after your dreams. We’re not promised tomorrow, so what are you waiting for?








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6 Responses to Self-discovery and choosing the right path for YOU

  1. This is great! I definitely find that it’s way too easy for me to compare myself to others and get caught up in what others are expecting myself instead of doing what is right for me. Thanks for the reminder today!

  2. Annie says:

    I feel so encouraged after reading this. It’s so true that you are responsible for YOUR happiness- no one else is responsible for you!

  3. Laura says:

    Spot on. My husband has been encouraging me to go for my dream – i.e. to writewritewritewritewrite until my novel is finished and then go for getting it published – but it is so easy to find all the reasons why you can’t right now or whatever. there are so many things i wish i would have done when i was younger, and i’m only 30!

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